State of Being: Who am I?

In school, I was taught the Uta Hagen technique for acting and I over intellectualized the questions to establish one's state of being. I sought out infrastructure to hide behind instead of allowing them to free me.

Uta's first question, 'who am I,' had me searching for tangible things and achievements for the characters I aimed to portray because that's how I used to define myself. When the accomplishments were piling high, I had the confidence to express myself onstage and off. When I didn't get the audition or the role, I felt embarrassed and the urge to hide.

Fast forward to being out of school for two years, Uta's initial question is much easier for me to answer. I find myself able to step into the shoes of complex characters like Joan of Arc, Carmen, Octavian and the Princess of Bouillon.

The more I've allowed myself to live and simply be, the more I understand I never needed to hide behind the structure of school and the techniques of the voice and for acting. All of that structure helped shape me into who I am today, but there came a point where I needed to trust what I knew and in all the work I'd done so I could step into any given state of being and stay in the present moment.

I've come to believe in two truths when it comes to singing:

1) learning to sing is hard, singing is easy

2) being secure enough to simply be is harder

Singing is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do. It showcases an extension of the soul and if you don't know how to answer Uta's first question, I'd focus on that and singing scales first.

Singing has always been a part of who I am, but it all didn't begin to click until I knew who I was wihtout singing at the center of my universe. So if I, Regan, am to answer 'who am I' today, I'd say:

I am eager.

I am ambitious.

I am encouraged.

I am a daughter.

I am a good friend.

I am helpful.

I am creative.

I am full of joy.

I am unsure of the future, but okay with that (most of the time).

I am a business owner.

I am trying my best.

I am a Pilates instructor.

I am an artist.

I am generous.

I am a singer.

I am kind.

I am 27.

I am just getting started.